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self indulging is my forté
unwantedmemories-@hotmail.com
carmella desiree en-lin facebook friendster grace jing xian mervin mandy millie peiwen raymond sam chua seimon-cho stepfanie super kpop tongpei wendy xiaxue
Sunday, 22 November 2009
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I actually intended to text this message to ESHLYN LIM XIN JIE, but i just thought that maybe it'll be better if i post this up: (;
"ESHLYNNNN LIMMM! I just freaking read your blog and i think you're as sweet as a Korean Strawberry! No wait, you're sosososo sweet you're probably coated with sugar! (: Thanks Eshlyn, for also being there when I'm ranting about a gazillion things i'm unhappy about, for listening to my longgg boringg speeches and theories, for laughing and crying with me, for making me safe knowing that you'll be there for me if I ever need you AND for having the "same kind" of boyfriend as me! (Gives us so much things too talk about! AC & JS can go figure! :P) THANK YOU SO SO MUCH! And OMG, I suspect we freaking are telepathic! Because I was thinking about the runway thing and YOU ALSO THOUGHT ABOUT IT TOO! How cool is that?! :D And guess what?! You do have an identity! I figured another one for you! YOU ARE DEBBIE QUEK's AWESOME FRIEND! Heck, you make up the top 10 important people in my life! :D I really hope we can work towards our dreams and faith together, together with our lovely MELLA toooo! <3 I LOVE LOVE LOOVEEEEE YOU! >.< @#$%^&"
And a random: byebye >.<
Sunday, 15 November 2009
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Needless to say, I had an amazing time with the both of them yesterday. <3
We bought so much stuffs I'm even feeling kind of guilty about it! It wasn't even a shopping trip to begin with!
Conclusion: I think I really enjoy shopping with them a lot! But next time round, I must bring my two noona along before the two dongseng drives me crazy! sings Son Dambi's song!
I think I'm very blessed to have such awesome cousins & siblings like you guys, thank you for being in my life! Saranghae! <3
I caught 2012 with Yau today at Lido. The movie was kind of stupid, but it left me with afterthoughts. It's a stupid movie that makes you think, about the more important things in life.
Goodnight
Friday, 13 November 2009
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I ENDED UP GETTING AN ...
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PORCUPINE FISH! :D
SAY HI!
Scientific Name: Diodon Holocanthus
Also Commonly Known as an: Porcupine Fish
Like other Puffer Fish, the Porcupine Puffer can inflate its body to twice
it's size when threatened. This helps them to scare away potential
predators and also make them harder to swallow!
I've also placed a female seahorse in my aquarium! Which is technically the worst mistake ever because Puffer Fishes apparently munch on seahorses?! (So eeky!) I found this piece of information online, but I secretly kind of doubt it! Because it has been days but my Puffer Fish have not been bothering my seahorse at all!
Online articles also claim that Puffer Fish tend to nip on corals and is therefore not reef-safe. But I seriously want to give it a shot because my Puffer Fish doesn't seem at all aggressive.
For example, the article states that Box Fishes and Puffers shouldn't be placed together as they are both very aggressive, but it doesn't seem the case cause my Puffer was seen happily swimming with 2 Box fishes when I bought it!
I'll be going down to collect my life rocks and get some coral for my aquarium next Wednesday when my aquarium has stabilize and maybe if given a chance I'll also get a male seahorse for companionship sake. (I so wanna see the seahorse greeting dance!) (:
*Johnson and I have two separate aquarium. His aquarium has 2 common clown fish, 1 maroon clown fish (mine!), 1 tomato clown fish, a starfish (mine!), a shrimp, life rocks and several other beautiful corals! I currently have minimal borrowed-from-Johnson life rocks, one tube worm, a porcupine puffer fish and a seahorse!
Almost everyone who have seen my Puffer Fish pictures/reality has told me how ugly it is, but I personally find them special. Beautiful fishes are so common, they come in so many different colors you never knew existed but their prettiness are so commonly seen, they have became nothing but of the norm. Fishes like Puffer Fishes, Box Fishes and Angler on the other hand are although undoubtedly weird-looking, I feel that it's their "ugliness" is what makes them so special.
I'm like currently totally hyped up over marine fishes, corals and all related stuffs. The marine world has probably all the prettiest hidden treasures on earth.
*I'm meeting Ah Chow - the small one tomorrow and I'm excited over it! Hopefully Millie will be able to join us toooo! /: As for Doreen, HWAITING for your A levels exams okay! I know you can do it! :D
Thursday, 12 November 2009
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I no longer know,
Every now and then, I’ll unconsciously start spending, perhaps too much time; thinking. Insecurities would start stringing and stirring emotions deep within me. Hurtful embarrassing humiliating incident would then be continuously be played in my head, pictures so vivid I seem to be forced to experience it all over again. Then slowly, once again, I find myself straying further away from people.
I find myself clenching on my “principals”, my unwritten code of conducts, trying to behave and adhere to what is “deem fit”. Maybe I’ve lost myself, I wouldn’t know.
My boyfriend, as sweet and caring as he may be, has never seemed to genuinely understand what I’m going through. Sometimes I wonder whether he actually knows how vulnerable I can be; the sense of helplessness I feel when I try so hard to put all those emotions into words, but even so who can I talk to?
He never seems to listen, he merely hears what I got to say before brushing it off with an “I understand” or “Don’t think too much about it.” Have he ever wondered that maybe those tearful tantrums were actually tears of helplessness?
I doubt so, and I sincerely doubt there will ever be a change.
I love him so much. But I really need someone who understands me. Someone who listens with his heart, feels for me when I’m hurt, and to be not just physically with me as my insecurities slowly devours me.
I know I have certain unresolved issues; but I was just wondering that perhaps, maybe, I wouldn’t be having so many of them if I had someone to rely on. Someone whom I know will protect me at all cause, someone who would be understanding and supportive to my ideals and characteristic, someone that will walk hand in hand with me as we work towards achieving our goals. Is that too much to ask for?
People will tell me how a wonderful boyfriend is, something I don’t deny. But how come I don’t see or feel it anymore? Do you know, sometimes how helpless I feel when I'm with you? I'm starting to get tired.
Yet I know I can never bring myself to leave you; I love you so much. More then I can ever imagine.
Edited 10 hours later
We were discussing somewhat about me. How I behaved, how I react to stuffs and figuring out how my mental clock ticks. I am/seem happy most of the time, I will not hesitate to compliment myself, take an awful lot pride of in my work, behave like a 5 year old kid going on an excursion, and nonchalantly tell people about my flaws and quirks as if it’s nothing embarrassing.
Occasionally, there are moments whereby I allow my emotions to lead me. I’ll cry despite having nothing to cry about, mourn about a lost I didn’t even know exist, and start to pick on every negative small detail in life to complain over. I’m only human, and I do have my insecurities and disappointment with life. Moments like last night.
I have learned to appreciate and love being who I am, and to accept who I may never be. I will never hurt myself, but I sometimes I do need time to let myself go all depressed and sappy; that’s what make me, me.
To be fair, Johnson really does love me a lot. Through him, I’ve learn so much. I’ve learn how to speak my own dialect, I’ve learn how to prawn fairly well, he 'll give me driving tips and call me after every lesson, he taught me how to bowl properly and he tried to teach me how to play billiard.
Through him I’ve met new people, made friends with some of them, and had the chance to watch a lovely baby girl grow up. And because of him, I get to be chauffeured around at ease (I've never even heard him complain be4), I get to go to Malaysia for sumptuous seafood dinners, and get to pursue my dreams knowing that despite not being able to be with me, he will be there to catch me should I fall.
We are both foodies and even though we hardly talk during meals, we always made up for that by chatting endlessly while he's driving. While he had problem understanding my insecurities and worries, he have always put up with my nagging and long boring theories.
I’m sorry for that mean nasty complainful post Johnson; I love you!
And I’m still waiting for you to bring me puffer-fish-shopping! :D
Love ya!
who's there? who will be there?
JOHNSON, MED, YAU, MY AMAZING SIBLINGS & MY HEAVENLY FATHER
Monday, 9 November 2009
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Johnson and Debbie's 54month Anniversary; usually not celebrated, but this month happens to be one of the few exceptions.
Johnson seem to be reacquainted with his passion for keeping marine fishes and coral; and so in order to prevent the repeat of same gruesome incident 2 years old, Johnson decided to try and get his girlfriend involved this time.
After spending less than 1 hours looking around the fish farms, his girlfriend started to grow very much interested in this different exotic corals. They came in different shape, sizes and color; her curiosity finally caught hold of her and she started wanting to know everything about this beautiful sea creatures.
Johnson however found her taste of sea creatures perhaps a tad weird. She chose a dull colored starfish over the brightly colored, found stingrays and stonefish beautiful and she fell in love with … … a puffer fish.
All in all, Debbie upon seeing his boyfriend reunite with his long-lost enthusiasm, decides to be encouraging; she decided to pay for his little marine tank as a gift; and so happens it was their 4 and a half years anniversary…
One feet tank!
(Young) Bubble Corals - Johnson says I can't keep them because they are very sensitive to temperature changes, therefore if we decide to keep it, we will need a $100+ chiller to maintain the water temperature, and even so extra special care must be given. /:
Johnson and the Owner of the Fish Farm calls this coral Fish Fillet, I'm not too sure of it's real name though. Weird enough, I find this corals very gaudy! >.<
My STARFISH! (:
I seriously would rather have a nicely shaped dull colored starfish then a flimsy looking pretty starfish. Do I even make sense? /:
Anemone Coral for our Tomato Clown Fish! (:
Me. myself, am amazed at how much I'm in love with all the Corals we bought.
It's as though they are little living treasure pieces!
Frog Spawn Coral - I don't know why but I was so crazily attracted to this corals, I refused to leave until Johnson allowed me to get his. It's really really pretty in my opinion! I heard you can see them even in Singapore (Pulau Hantu) I seriously NEED my diving license! Urrggh!
Johnson choosing a tube worm.
Oh, and did I mention how much I like the Domino Damsels?
They're so lovable, black with one or two white spots! Go Google!
Presenting to you, Johnson's $145 dollars Marine Tank!
In case you're wondering what happened to my puffer fish. Johnson is going down to get another one foot tank from his friend and he's allowing me to keep a tank with only my puffer fish and stone fish-lookalike together! It won't be as pretty as this tank though, because the Puffer fish apparently eats corals! /: I'm still trying to convince Johnson into allowing me to keep a sea urchin!
Till my new tank arrives, Goodnight! (:
Till my new tank arrives, Goodnight! (:
*We took all this pictures in the fish farm (Yes, they aren't ripped off some marine webpage!) See how pretty everything is! :D
Sunday, 8 November 2009
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We reached the Zoo at 11.00, had lunch for 1 hour, and left at 16.00; Obviously lazy people! >.<
We didn't even bother to catch the elephant show, neither did we complete seeing all the animals. Turns out, all of us barely slept the previous night. /:
Kind of disappointed; cause I barely saw more then 10 different type of animals! Johnson promised to take me there again next time! Beside, I thought I was suppose to visit the Zoo with Sam, En-lin and Tim when Tim gets back. >.<
I've got to thank Liling for getting us complimentary tickets though! :D
I finally got to see the WHITE TIGERS! :D
The tigers were kept away the last time I came! /:
